Well, it’s that time of the month again….

Well, another month has rolled around, only to find me at home, getting over a nasty cold-and-cough combo.
I feel like I’ll be able to brave work again tomorrow morning, but we’ll see when the time comes.
What’s happened since last time? Who knows? The days have begun to flow together, sometimes I’m thankful for that, but at times, I wish I’d have stopped and smelled the roses.
I think a main problem I’m experiencing is committing to too much, so I’ve set myself a target: barring any really spectacular shows/performances/auditions, I have set a cutoff date for some relaxation, and that is going to happen at the end of June.
Now, I know you’re saying to yourself, “June???!!? That’s months away!”, but hey, I’m booked until then.
I am currently cast in CST’s “Romeo & Juliet” albeit for a minor part, consisting of around 20 lines throughout the entire play, and I have yet to be at an actual rehearsal, but who knows. It just might be nice.
I’m also starring in a lead role (!) in JEST’s upcoming “What’s Wrong with This Picture?” by Donald Marguiles, as Mort, the father of a 16-year old kid, and it’s going to be a challenging role, to say the least.
I also am the sole distributor of the “Oliver!” videos, finally completed editing and duplication, and have a pile of them sitting in my living room, awaiting people to pick them up.
As well as being on the set construction team for JEST’s “Pirates of Penzance” which a few of my friends are in, and that’ll be a blast.
Better yet, I’m on the committee for the upcoming Fantasy.Con 2004 convention during Pesah, being responsible for all screening materials.
Oh, did I forget to mention that I still have a day job? There’s not enough hours in the day!
On a darker note, Yaffah and I did actually go out last month, and it was quite nice, we had dinner and unwound from our respective tedious days at work, and enjoyed each other’s company.
I promised her that I’d give her a call, and have yet to do so.
I’m horrible.
I have no idea why I haven’t called, and each day that goes by, I think I should call her, but what message does that send? “Um, hey, I thought I’d give you a ring, after a month!” And then another day goes by, and the time lengthens. I think it might be some serious dependancy issues, or even worse, that I might actually like someone and might lose them?
In any case, I have to figure out what I want out of the universe, and mold it to my satisfaction. “Create the world,” they said. “It’ll be an adventure!” they promised. “What a load of crap!” I yell to the unresponsive walls.
“You can be anything you want to be!” parents tell their children, or at least mine told me.
What a crock.
Now, yes, I may be talented in certain areas, and knowledgable in others, but what if I don’t know what I want to BE? What if I just want to BE? Why do I have to BE something or someone? Can’t I just BE me?
Maybe it’s the affect of drinking scotch with medication, or maybe that’s exactly when true, clear thoughts can be made. Sometimes in order to hear a whisper, you need the cacophony to be almost overbearing to the point that all you can make out is that one little whisper.
Hell, what do I know. I know what I know. I’ll sing what I said, we come and we go. That’s a think that I keep in the back of my head.

Posted February 17th, 2004 in General.