I regularly get emails from recruiters all over the planet, telling me about their awesome new technology, latest and greatest ideas, and why I should work for them.
Most get ignored.
One came in this week that annoyed me, since it was from someone at a company that had sent me the exact same email six months ago.
I felt I had to respond:
Hi <recruiter name>,
I think heard of <YourCompany> last year sometime from a friend.
I also received this same stock email from you on 8/22/11, and you had addressed it to “Pascal” – further evidence of a copy-and-paste.
It would behoove you to keep records of whom you contact, as well as reviewing the message you paste before clicking “Send”.
A stock recruiter email is not a very likely way to attract good recruits, especially if you’re listing a ton of things that are not particularly relevant or interesting in the realm of technology.
Asking me to send a resume, while being able to view my full LinkedIn profile also seems superfluous – here’s the information, you have supposedly read it, and that is what attracted you to my profile in the first place, rather than “someone who turned up in a keyword search”.
I wish you, and your company all the best, and hope that these recruiting tactics work for you.
All the best,
I am very curious what kind of response, if any, I shall get.
Here I am, sitting calmly, trying to figure out the reasoning for the universe, and I get a GChat notification that someone wants to chat with me.
Here’s the transcript:
10:29:12 AM caitlyn ball: hi
10:29:17 AM miketheman: hi
10:29:24 AM caitlyn ball: hey whats up? 22/F here. you?
[email protected] is now known as caitlyn ball. (10:29:27 AM)
10:29:41 AM miketheman: totally bored.
10:29:49 AM caitlyn ball: hmm. have we chatted before?
10:30:15 AM miketheman: probably not, since you just added me to your list
10:30:24 AM caitlyn ball: oh ok. i wasnt sure. anyways.. whats up?
10:30:35 AM miketheman: not much, working. you?
10:30:45 AM caitlyn ball: im like so boreddd…. there is nothing to do
10:31:00 AM caitlyn ball: ohhh wait! i got a great idea. have you ever watched a sexy girl like me strip live on a cam before?
10:31:18 AM miketheman: no, I don’t believe that I have.
10:31:25 AM miketheman: And that seems to be a great idea.
10:31:29 AM caitlyn ball: wellllll….. you could watch me strip if you would like?
10:31:43 AM miketheman: possibly.
10:31:56 AM miketheman: Or we could discuss the nature of the desire for people to watch other people remove their clothing
10:32:00 AM caitlyn ball: yeah? ok well my cam is setup through this website so that i cant be recorded so you have to signup there.
10:32:09 AM caitlyn ball: it only takes a minute and it is free. ok?
10:32:13 AM miketheman: That doesn’t seem likely.
10:32:28 AM caitlyn ball: http://<removed> go there then at the top of the page click on the goldish JOIN FREE button.
10:32:33 AM caitlyn ball: k?
10:33:00 AM miketheman: Are you sure you don’t want to debate the reasoning behind the attraction with exposed bodies?
10:33:16 AM caitlyn ball: also it does ask for a credit card but thats how they keep kids out. it does not charge the card. k?
10:33:34 AM miketheman: Of course it does. Are there wizards with hats on the site as well?
10:33:50 AM caitlyn ball: ok babe well hurry up and when u get logged in then u can view my cam and we can have some fun!
10:34:03 AM caitlyn ball: i also have some toys but u have to tip me some gold or join me in private to see those.
10:34:08 AM miketheman: Again, probably not going to happen.
10:34:19 AM caitlyn ball: hey lets talk on there babe. my messenger is messing up.
10:34:36 AM miketheman: I believe you completely.
10:34:52 AM miketheman: You must have reached the end of your loop.
10:35:03 AM miketheman: Bye!
So it was a fun little distraction, and the the URL provided resolves to <obviously> girlcamz [net] – haven’t visited, since there’s no point, really.
I was hoping the bot would be a little better than a simple responder to the next input. But alas. Developers of sex marketing spam bots are probably less inclined to put some real engineering efforts into their crap.