And they call this “horror”!

A word to the wise: Don’t waster your time on movies that have nothing new to show you.

Oh yes, spoiler alert for The Messengers (2007) – it’s probably worse than you think.

To start off with – the cast is nice and small, so there’s not 50,000 characters and plot lines to follow. However, the one plot that is there is so weak that it makes you want to kill the writers, not just the actors.

The suspense scenes are so badly drawn out, and the music tries to heighten the sensation – but if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.

It all starts out with the family moving from Chicago to North Dakota to a farm in the country, where the main house is absolutely miles away from anything – perfect setting for everyone to get killed, right? Right.

So there’s some black-and-white flashbacks and some other crappy special effects designed to make you wonder “who, what, how?” but I didn’t really care anyways. None of the characters made me feel even remotely compassionate for them – they could all kick the bucket for all I cared.

The lead – Kristen something – a teenage girl who got into trouble in Chicago, is now to not be trusted and when she comes up with lacerations – thanks to our lovely neighborhood ghostly incarnations of some sort – her parents blame her for drawing more attention to herself.

The story drags on and on – I think the entire film could’ve been condensed into a nice short film – no longer than 25 minutes.

So do yourselves a favor, and if you get a chance to watch this film – watch something else instead. You’ll probably have a better time, and you may not end up so disappointed that you actually spend more effort into writing a bad review for this on your blog. Take it from someone who did.

And on to better movies!