Feeling a little cold?

So after I got my hair cut, I decided to join the No Pants 2k8 subway ride. I didn’t initially think I’d do it, but timing was right, and I figured, what the hell. I’ve participated in other ImprovEverywhere events, and this one seemed like it’d be fun, but I was a little concerned about the over-publicity of what is supposed to be a prank. Last time I did one and didn’t write about it, Devo found me and posted about it. I wondered how long it would take to be found, and it wasn’t long at all.

So I headed to Foley Square, where I joined up with some one thousand people, where we waited around, talked a bit, and I ran into two colleagues from work (is that supposed to be embarrassing?), and we stuck more or less together and got on the same train (6 train from Brooklyn Bridge, car #1) – but we kinda split in the car and got lost soon into the event.

Little did I know that this would lead to a large group of people sitting around, itching with anticipation, and the subway car had to be the quietest place on earth – as we were directed to not interact. so sitting here, waiting for the doors to close and the train to get underway, you could feel the anticipation in the air, so thick, you could slice it with a knife.

This goes on for a bit, so it’s cut here. Continue, at your own peril!

Glad you’re interested in reading and seeing me pants-less. You’re weird.

As directed, after the doors closed and the 6 train moved out, our “lead man” de-pantsed, stowed them in his bag and waited for the next stop, where he got off. After the doors closed, another few people dropped trou, and prepared for the next stop, so on and so forth, as instructed, up until 14th Street station, where the rest of us dropped ‘em and got off the train. By this point, there’s a lot of comments, confusion by the few non-participating pants-wearing people, and then we were all there, on the platform, waiting for the next train, doing what we would normally do – a lot of people were reading books, I was jamming with my iPod on.

Let me tell you this – some stations are warmer than others – particularly those with only a local stop – no crossover platform. There was a major draft chilling parts that are much happier not being chilled, and on the southbound platform behind me, I noticed some lady snapping pics of our exposed legs. As we waited, other people came wandering to the end of the platform and waited to enter the first car as well, and I’ll tell you one thing – most New Yorkers are really hard to faze.

As the next train came along, we all got back on, and I got a seat next to a pantsless woman, and at some other stop, a few people boarded and began that common shpiel, “Ladies and gentlemen, my brother and sister here are trying to bring you…” but then I began to listen – these guys were preaching the greatness of Pants, and how to accept Pants into your lives. What a riot! They passed out some pamphlets, and after reading it and dismissing it with a “what crap and propaganda” to the girl next to me, I offered it to some old dude sitting on my other side, and he actually expressed an interest in it, and kept the details. Who knows? Maybe he’ll accept Pants into his life.

As scheduled, we rode all the way up to 96th St, and transferred to the next southbound train. There was a major crowding on the platform, as this is where everyone got off the train (on the 6 line – there were two other lines that I don’t know their schedule) and headed back downtown to Union Square.

The ride down was a little more intense – the cars were tightly packed with people, and I don’t think anyone wanted to be the person squished up against the fat guy with no pants – rather they’d much like being stuck against the hot chick with no pants on, right?

Some guy with his whole family and a stroller asked me if “this is some sort of event?” And without breaking a smile, I asked “Event” What kind of event? I’m friggin’ freezing here!”

As things go, I got maneuvered against a set of double doors, and as luck would have it, I was facing inwards at the next stop, so the doors opened at my back. Now, as you may know, the windows on the subway are about waist-high, so you can’t really see if someone’s wearing pants or not – not that you typically are concerned with this. But just to hear the shocked gasps from a group of gals boarding the train, that was priceless. One of them eventually recalled that she had seen something about “a no pants event” and asked me about it. I responded simply that “I forgot my pants at home, and am going back to get them now”.

Eventually, we got back to Union Square, and exited to the throngs of pantsless people, where I was converted into a Pants-lover, and put them back on, thanks to Preacher Jason & crew. I then joined their ranks and worked on convincing others to “Love their pants, wear them everyday. I used to be like you – and every morning, before I leave my house, I put on my pants!” completely off the cuff, and got into some major heated arguments on the benefits of pants and such. Some of this was covered by video cameras – but nothing surfaced yet. Let me know if you see something.

We also saw a guy about to put his pants on, and ran over and began to evangelize him putting them back on, to cheers from us, and jeers from the crowd. It was a blast.

After a bit of preaching and such, I headed over towards where the after party was supposed to be, but was closed, and then ended up in The Crocodile Lounge, where everyone was having pantsless fun and drinking. My preaching compatriots could stand the masses, so they left, but I remained, as “I was just like you guys a little while ago, but I was strong enough and put them on” and such.

After a couple of drinks, I headed home, to sleep a nice dreamless sleep, and before I did – I took off my pants.

So far, some agents have posted their Flick feeds, but I haven’t been able to sort through them all. If you find a picture or video of me, I’d appreciate a comment with a link. Here’s a few sets that I’ve found: Set1 Set2 Set3

Posted January 13th, 2008 in Activities, Joke.
  • http://www.randomaccessbabble.com Brianna

    Great report Mike — and thanks for the “honorable mention”

  • Jen Small

    Thanks for joining our crusade, I mean, quest to bring pants to the pantsless. We enjoyed meeting you, and will keep you in mind for future projects ;)

  • Pam

    Well, if I thought you were adopted before, now I’m convinced!!!
    :)

  • Dan Salomon

    Good for you. I saw in today’s paper that was printed last week, that we had the same event here. I probably would have done it, but did not know about it until after the fact. You so have to come for a visit…
    But think warmer weather. LOL

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