The roots of homophobia are fear. Fear and more fear.

Quote from George Weinberg.

In the long past, that has left us behind of coldly and abruptly – look, there it goes again! – one of my closer friends pointed out that he had noticed that I seemed to be uncomfortable with anything gay-related.

The eventual recognition that he was right (was in the past tense!) made a big difference in how I approach people in general – and how I am able to develop relationships with anyone at all, regardless of some small little factoid like their sexual orientation.

Now, I know that my mom will probably end up reading this and freak out – and to answer that unspoken question: No, Mom, I’m not gay.

But I am getting over the cultural background and societal hangups that have been driven into my brain, as here in the USA I have friends and acquaintances from all places, shapes, colors, types, beliefs and they are all my friends.

I think it really drove home when a friend of mine invited me over to a dinner at her place, and told me that a couple of her friends would be there too. It took me all about 4 second from being introduced to figure out that they were a couple, and the  next thought that flitted through my head was, “Aww… they are so cute together.” That reaction was so new to me, and it allowed me to step outside myself for a moment and recognize the shift in what used to be and what just was.

There’s no denying that people are different – and sometimes we are taught that those differences are: bad, threatening, wrong, impure, and many other tags. The difference is that today, when meeting someone where any of those possible tags apply, I try to see beyond that, and get to know them for who they are, not for their tags.

Now, I totally understand that religions and belief systems be what they be – and that some are more restrictive than others. Some have more rules and don’t recognize the authority of others – similar as they may be in the baseline requirements, but nowhere near the same ideas and ideals. I can only really speak from the Judaism perspective, as I have only begun to meet Christians, Catholics and they have about as much inter-categorization as Judaism does. So we’re all in a messy place where we have all these lines drawn, and terminology doesn’t really work across these boundaries. For instance, if I told my folks and their community that a friend of mine is studying to be a rabbi – what’s the initial reaction? I don’t know – maybe a question about what yeshiva or rav they are studying with, etc. But bring in the fact that my friend is a woman… Regardless of how learned, pious or God-fearing she might be, the status of “rabbi” would never be recognized in that circle.

This planet is too small and crowded for us to continue to find out new and improved ways to dislike each other. If you don’t like the way I dress, look, act, smell, speak, tell me so. Tell ME so. Don’t hold it in and take it home with you and figure out which tag or label to assign that fault to – and then associate that fault with someone else. Treat me as me – an individual. Not just a sum of labels and tags.

Thanks for listening.

Supernatural in my pocket!

One of the oddest things happened today.

I went to the gym – and to those of you jumping up, no, that was not the odd thing – and as usual, when I leave the house, I lock both locks, and drop the keys into a very small inside pocket in my jacket.

After my workout, I gear back up and head home, and when I reach the front door, I go for my keychain (it’s a cool black one, a great present from my man Dan!) and notice that one of the keys is missing. Odd.

I dig deep into the little pocket and find the missing key.

How does a key “escape” the confines of a circular metal ring?

Fooding

So today was the first day I actually tried to deal with food.

Last night, after the gym, I went shopping, and bought some yummy-looking, low-fat stuff and planned for three days worth of eating breakfast, dinner and two small snacks. Lunch is typically a fresh salad with a bit of lite dressing from somewhere around the office, or some steamed vegetables over brown rice at the Chinese restaurant in the area.

I actually had to force myself to eat breakfast, as it’s not something I normally do – the morning is more of a “get out the door” time, or “check your emails” time, but not really a sit down and eat time.

I then snacked on a little lite sandwich at around 11, and ate a late salad lunch at 2:30. Afternoon snack was a yummy Nature Valley bar, and for dinner I used the oven – not the microwave! Finally! – to heat up a more-than-delicious dinner from Amy’s Kitchen. While it was heating, I got to preparing a simple mixed lettuce, red pepper, tomato and radish salad – and I had forgotten how simple and delicious that can be.

So dinner has me completely filled to the gills – not hungry at all – in fact feel a little stuffed -  in a fairly low caloric content for the day. That’s what I call a good day’s eating. So let’s see how this plays out – especially since I have a workout early tomorrow morning.

Wish me luck!

Money, Money, Money

Sitting down today to read through my endless RSS feeds – I have a bunch, don’t you? – with my trusty, always there wherever I may be, Google Reader, I thought about the time I invest in reading others words in relation to mine own.

I don’t write enough. I’ll attempt to rectify this with trying to convert the mind-numbing television viewing time with creative, semi-productive time.

Why only semi-productive, you ask? (See, I can read your thoughts already!) Well, if it was fully productive time, then there presumably would be some sort of end product, whereas all that ever gets produced is are 0’s and 1’s, that is some sort of combination make up bits and bytes, which then come together to form words and possibly express thoughts or whatnot.

So if all it is is a bunch of zeroes and ones, what really does it amount to?

Earlier tonight I had an experience I never thought about, and if asked, I’d probably have replied with, “That would be cool, but not on the top ten list.” That statement would be hard pressed to provide said list, as there isn’t one at the moment, and probably never will be, as I’m lazy that way. If there’s a list, and it has items that are on it that aren’t checked off, then there’s potential for them to never be checked off, and why not live up to your potential, as I was always taught – yet rarely practiced.

A vendor that my company works with – and pays well for their superb product and services – hosted a nice evening of after work drinks and snacks at the New York Stock Exchange trading floor, right here, a few blocks from my place, on Broad Street (the entrance is not on Wall Street, as common misconception would have it). This was in response to their being bestowed the honor of the following morning’s “Ringing of the Bell” – a 9:30am wak-up call for the market, which begins the trading. Once a mundane, boring aspect of some guy’s job, now an honorarium.

Security was tight, as it always is, and you have to be on the list to get through the front door, after which metal is unfairly discriminated against by means of gateways that will beep angrily if you have any on your person. Greeted by vendor representatives, and escorted along the way by ushers, you finally step out on to the trading floor.

Now we’re not talking about a nice little hall, that people mill around and chat, but the actual trading floor itself, where the combination of old-school methods and decor are mashed together with an abundance of new-school technology – from touch screens to ticker tape, this place is a sight to look at.

High ceilings, clocks and tickers everywhere, phones and computer consoles galore. A lot of them even had Playstation-like controllers hooked up to them – I have absolutely no idea why.

Open bar, so I got me a nice scotch on the rocks, and my colleagues and I spent some time walking around, tasting yummy-looking stuff, and spoke to some other visitors about companies and compared some stories.

We also had a chance to talk to some vendor representatives, where after we three voiced our appreciation and happiness with their product, I was emboldened by the knowledge that “an unhappy customer is a chance to improve the business via feedback” line of thinking, and voiced a couple of items that I believe they could do better on. This information was met with appreciation, and I am glad that I voiced my thoughts. I usually let the inner monologue go forth, but on those times when restraint is prudent, it’s good to know that some of the inner can be outer and do well as such.

In any case, it was pretty cool, and I got to stroll around a place that has unspeakable amounts of money pour through it daily, affecting millions of people’s lives, and it was quite pleasant.

There’s a picture behind here, for the skeptics.

Continue reading Money, Money, Money

I’m driving a truck with my high heels on!

First off, let me open by thanking you all for writing back with your thoughts, comments and methods of weight loss and lifestyles.

It’s been very insightful, having people write here on the site, as well as comments on Facebook, as well as direct emails. I’ll look into all of these, and probably make up my own combination, as long as it makes sense to me.

In more exciting news, I took my New York State Department of Motor Vehicles Road Test, and guess what? I passed!

For the first time in my life, I am a licensed driver of a four-wheeled vehicle class, and the only thing I want to do isnow apply for a motorcycle license. It’s a little backwards here – you have to get the Class D (automobile) before you can add the Class M (vroom! vroom!) to it

As they say in Hebrew: Cow, Cow. (Laugh now if you get the joke.) I must say that my uncle is pretty awesome for taking the time to teach me how to drive, and let me drive him around when we could, and not shout in my ear, “What do you think you’re doing!?!?!?!” as I have heard from other’s experiences with driving instructors that are less-than-forgiving about anything at all. Also, a shout out goes to my extended cousins in CT – for always showing me a good time when I come up there, and letting me practice driving around more with their car as well, so while I am now fairly comfortable behind the wheel, I am also aware of the danger that lies ahead.

So now that I have that squared away, anyone need a driver? 🙂

The truth can be a bitch

If ever you’ve had to sit down with your inner self and debate matters, then you know that it always depressing to figure out that there’s something wrong and that you want to change it.

Recently during some odd contemplative time, I’ve figured out that I enjoy the taste of food much more than the food itself.

That probably confused some of you, so let me explain.

I find myself in a position where I am overweight, and eventually take steps to rectify this. Steps? Joining a gym, eating healthier, trying to lose weight and “look good” – you know, the kind of good that after you’ve walked by makes women pause and savor the moment, so they can reminisce it later with their friends.

That kind of good.

So you go to the gym twice a week and get worked on for an hour by a trainer. You do all the things you’re supposed to, and nothing helps.

Sure, you drop a few pounds, and tone up some muscle, but there’s still that cuddly cushioning that will damn any man, especially if you can’t touch your toes – not because of the girth, but because of some weird leg inflexibility you probably developed due to major inactivity.

You go to the doctor, hoping that it might be something physiological, but (sadly?) it’s not. You only find out that you’re in pretty good health – but you need to exercise more. Duh. Don’t need years of schooling to tell me that.

So you drop the expensive diet, as it’s not really doing anything, and you go back to eating “health conscious” – salads, and the occasional Chinese take-out of something with tofu.

Then, you sit back one day and realize:

I don’t eat all that much, and when I do, I usually eat pretty decently.

But when I don’t…

I have found that I love the way things taste. The mixing and matching of textures and flavors os something amazing, and I will overeat something that tastes good – just to have some more of the taste, far past the point of sustainment.
I suppose that’s what ancient Greeks had in mind – they wanted to eat more of these delicious items, so off to the vomitorium with you! (I know I’m mixing Greeks and Romans, but I don’t care. Oh, and the fact that the vom is no place for this kind of activity. But it sounds cool.)

So now that I’ve figured that out, what do I do about it? There’s the simple method – go back to a strict diet and deprive myself of all that is delicious – but that’s absolutely no fun, not to mention extremely hard in New York City –
or figure something else out.

Another idea is to try to go the path of “eat only when hungry”, but that’s not healthy, as I’m told that the body will figure that out and store even more fat cells as a result.

There’s not a whole lot of options for someone who doesn’t want to put in piles of effort into shopping for food, preparing for one, and cleaning up the mess.

I’m totally hoping that someone ot there has a good idea – so feel free to shout it, shout it, shout it out loud.

It starts now

So today started like most days, and I woke up.

Nothing too spectacular about that particular aspect of the daily ritual, other than the fact that it seems to happen wth some regularity, and to a certain degree of predictability as well..

Lazily lounged around, watched some recorded American Chopper and laughed at the destructiveness of a couple of people that get fairly angry in each other’s proximity. Finally got up and did some morning things.

Went out and got a new mouse that I wanted – nice little thing, and it does the job.

Beat the lunch crowd by a few minutes to the local diner, and got my late brunch, and sat downa nd relaxed for a bit.

Tried to reach a friend on Skype, but I guess the wireless spot I was connected to crapped out on me. Oh well.

So now I’m off to find the Astor Place Hair place – I hear good things about it. I need a hair cut as well as a good shave, so I figure I’ll sit down, close my eyes and let them go to town.

Wish me luck.

There’s a first time for everything

First off, let me begin with thanking everyone who has emailed, messaged, called, or in other ways communicated a Happy Birthday to me. It really was great to hear from all of you, and I’m going to try to respond to everyone individually, but in case I don’t, please know that it was well appreciated.

To those of you who’ve been following, you might know that I’ve been going through a lot of changes as of recent, and I thought today would be a great time to jot down a whole lot of things that I’ve done for the first time, while giving some background to make it interesting.

I started my second decade in service to the Israeli Air Force, and have ended it living in Manhattan. Big jump, and wildly exciting.

These past few months of living in the USA have opened first-times for me all over again, and I thought that some of them might be of interest, or maybe even inspire you.

First time living completely on my own – no roommates. Not that there’s anything wrong with roommates (wink at YAP), but it’s something I’ve never done. Now I live on my own.

First gym sign-up and actual attendance. It’s going well, my trainer likes me to push myself harder than I would on my own. Isn’t that the point? Bah humbug.

First time visiting places like Boston, MA, Stanford, CT and Long Island. What can I say? Never been there. Now I have friends and family there. First time eating Hibachi-style!

First time skydiving. And sledding. First time to walk around in public without a shirt on in a place that’s not the beach.

First time watching Broadway – and then off-Broadway, and going back again and again. Needs major update.

First Mac. Ugh. Call me crazy, but I’m not liking it.

First large history post. I thought a lot about that one, and it’s good to re-read it. I never continued on my personal history, maybe another time.

So that’s a lot of the past year – not everything by a far stretch, but a lot of great and goodness.

Today marks another first for me – turning 30 (yes, I know the cat’s out of the bag now. I don’t care). On December 25, or the Fifteenth of Tevet, depending on which calendar you follow, I turned thirty years old. So to mark this occasion, I did another first – snowboarding. Yes, yours truly went out with some friends and headed up a mountain, to hurt himself in ways that have gone previously undiscovered by himself.

It’s not as easy as it looks, but I was in full cold weather gear, and needed it. My butt slammed into the snow so many times today that I think I might need a new pelvis. Same with my knees (and I don’t mean that I need a new pelvis for my knees…), and curiously enough – my big right toe.

Turns out that if you have feet larger than the board, you should try not to slam them into hard packed snow when trying to get up. So I slammed my big toe (while in a two-ton snow boot attached to a snowboard) int the ice, and now it’s scary black-and-blue. Ouch.

So I got to celebrate my birthday, for the first time in a long time, and to end it off, when I got home tonight, and got some dinner ready, I sat down to watch one of my favorite films – The Neverending Story. Don’t laugh at me – I love that movie. I get all teary-eyed and shivers run down my back and all. I guess I’m a big sap, but I love a story that meant a lot to me – the power of books, a good story, adventures and such. It’s probably really cheesy to today’s world and standards, but it’s awesome.

So there. Now I’m going to kick back and relax, and fall asleep to another of my favorite movies – Labyrinth – and wake up all sore in the morning.

If you celebrated the Channukah thing or the Xmas thing, hope you had a good one. Watch The Hebrew Hammer and rejoice!

Parties all around

So last night was the company’s annual Holiday Party. Call me crazy, but I like my company – they’ve held a few celebrations since I’ve been here, and all of them rocked my socks.

It was held at Pressure, which has this great top floor bar/pool hall/dance floor combo space, and we shared it with a party from NBC – but they were on the other side of the bar and didn’t really concern us at all.

Started off by grabbing a drink at the bar and moseying around, played a few games of pool, I even rocked a game of Guitar Hero! I didn’t do the whole buffet thing, I just wasn’t hungry I guess.

I think where I really had the best time was on the dance floor, where I’ve always tried to have a great time. It’s so awesome to see a bunch of crazy people, people I work with, break out their moves. Some of them more interesting than others, but all awesome. I guess it takes a certain type of personality to decide: “I can’t dance in the more conventional sense of the word – but I don’t care, I’m dancing anyways!” So watch out for that good old funky white boy dance – it can spring up at you at a moment’s notice

I had some nice salsa steps and merengue to base on, and then there was some group interpretive modern dance, that got some amazing response, and one more memorable one was Sir Mix-a-Lot’s memorable song, to which another dude and I totally rocked and cracked everyone up. I showed a bit of my groove to “Billy Jean”, a good song for footwork, and wished there was a little more step-worthy music, or at least clog-able, like “The Devil Went Down..” but hey, it was still awesome.

I got to meet a whole lot of people that I work with – some whom I’ve never met before – and some of their friends, spouses, SI’s etc. in a non-work environment. It was fun to see everyone relax and have a good time.

On the whole, it was one hell of a party, and I can’t wait for the next one. Big thanks to M, for making it happen!

Let it snow, let it snow…

Creepy Tree So in the past couple of weeks it’s snowed a bit and covered the ground with enough that this past weekend I went sledding for the first time in a VERY long time.

I started the day visiting my uncle and cousin, having a light bite and tea, then driving around my uncle’s Chevy in a neighborhood in New Jersey, where we went to the top of a multi-level parking lot and intentionally sped up and slammed on the brakes on untouched ice to skid. Feels odd. Don’t do that.

Then drove all the way to his house, and then out again onto the highways and byways, dealing with weekend traffic.

I met other cousins at a halfway point between New Jersey and Conneticut, where I switched cars, and drove up further north to someone’s house on a hill where I then sledded down at breakneck (literally!) speed into brambles and bushes.

Ah, yes, it was a lot of fun. Cold, but it gets the heart pumping faster as you fly down the slope, and hope you don’t run into someone else or worse – a tree (that happened!). Also,word of advice that might seem obvious to the rest of you – if you’re going down head first, don’t try to brake using your shoulder against the ground – that only makes it angry. Retaliation was in the form of me flipping onto my head, doing a full 360, and landing on the hard snow. Ouch. Some more pictures are available beyond the cut.

Overall, it’s was pretty awesome.

After sledding, we went to have dinner at a Japanese Hibachi place – I’d never been to one of those, and that was quite the experience as well.

The next day, I had my first Costco’s visit – and let me tell you, I was impressed by the sheer size of everything. It’s all so huge!

Anyways, I hope you had as good a time as I did.

Continue reading Let it snow, let it snow…