*** News Flash ***

Incoming transmission! Hot news!!
My sister called, and she just had spent the weekend with my parents (groan!). The folks actually called me on Friday to ask whether I would be joining, which I obviously declined.
Anyways, my mother, being the nosey busy-body that she is, tries to pump my sister for information about her siblings that she doesn’t get directly from the others. This is a common practice for my mother, who rightfully believes that we don’t tell her things. This is mainly to prevent the ensuing uproar over the issue at hand, regardless if it is: getting married/washing a shirt/eating properly. These are all of the same magnitude with her.
In any case, my mother asks my sister:
“Do you think Mike is gay?”

Now, my sister, who I talk to now and then, knows the answer, and replies with: “Why do you think he is?” for no other reason, if only to hear the reasoinging behind this assumption.
My mother, bless her heart, replies: “Well, he only hangs out with guys, and he doesn’t have any female friends, and I never hear about him dating anyone, AND the guys he does hang out with, he met at the theater, i.e other actors, and you know what they are like. [insert a knowing wink, nose tapping, or whatever symbol for an obvious insinuation]
Well, funnily enough, when I was about 15-16, Mom said “Michael, don’t you go fooling around with girls…” so I guess now I’ve showed HER!
Fooling around with boys is oh so much better, Mom!
PSA: I am not gay. For those who would cast aspersions, or for those who are just confused.
Anyways, I got a big laugh out of the whole thing, and now am trying to think of ways to use the knowledge to my advantage, as finally I am in a position to strike for my revenge, which is long overdue. Any ideas?